Friday, 20 May 2016

Moving On

It's been a while.

I've honestly dreaded updating this blog - mainly because when it came to school, I never got the outcome I wanted. In September 2015, I began home-schooling, I left my school for good.
I'm now 3 days away from my first GCSE exam. I've spent the last week watching from the 'social media' sidelines as my old classmates go through leaving school - and I feel lonely, to be quite honest. I really wish I could've left school with them and enjoyed my time there. I'm incredibly envious of everyone who managed to make it through school.  My two exams are on the 9th of June (coincidentally my 16th birthday - hooray?) and then it's all over. I'm incredibly emotional at the moment. 5 years has gone by incredibly fast - and honestly I don't feel like I'm adult enough to be going into college. 

In this time I've had struggles with my mental health, I certainly feel like I haven't thanked my parents enough. They've put up with so much shit from me. 

I don't really know how to thank them - just saying 'Thank You' doesn't seem like enough, (Mummy, if I could buy you a houseboat I would, but I'm poor - and Daddy, that car you pointed out when we were shopping a few weeks ago is far past my budget..) I love you two so much, and I'm incredibly awful at showing my sincerity. I'm certainly much better with words. Thank you so much.
Also thank you to Charlie for putting up with my shit - I've not been the nicest person these past few years but you're so awesome and do so much for me. Thank you.

I'm sad I didn't have a success story of conquering my fears - but I don't think many people will until more start paying attention and accepting school refusal as a real thing. I remember when I was still in school and getting people to sign the petition - one girl questioned it and said it would make it easier for people like me to 'skip' school. I didn't bother explaining it to her.
I also remember when I first uploaded my blog - even though I specifically stated I was not trying to attention seek with this, but make it more known - the next day when I went into school, I had quite a few people calling me an attention-seeker behind my back. Happy days.

I don't quite know where I'm trying to head with this, but I will leave it on a positive note. I recently moved house and now have a place in college. I actually went to the college the other day for a 'taster' day and it was a really friendly and relaxed environment. I'm looking forward to that.

Thank you to everyone who has read this blog. Maybe I'll update in the future, but for now, I'm going to leave this blog. 



  1. Good luck on the future, I know this it might seem hard to go to college, but it will all be better. ;)

  2. Great blog Ellie. Honest and eloquently put. Good luck with exams. Just remember that no matter what happens with the results, you've got family and friends that love and support you. And exams don't measure attributes such as, character, courage and determination. And from your blogs you appear to have these in spades. However I'm pretty sure you'll do well.

  3. You are strong Ellie, always have been. Damn smart as well. Whatever happens I know you will always get past it. College is more relaxed then secondary school thats for sure. Make new friends, and have a good time. Enjoy what you can. I'll be here when you need me buddy :)

    1. Thank you Jake - look forward to gaming in the Summer :D

  4. So proud of you Ellie. You'll do well. It was a short time that i got a chance tho know your mum and meet you; live is tough no matter how old You get; but a parent will always be there. Love and best wishes for all your future endeavours. Angela xxx